Having a 15 Year Old Means...

Having a fifteen year old means....
I am no longer a fountain of knowledge, infact, I instantly know nothing.
I shop in the men's department.
I buy shoes that are bigger than boats and cost more than my car payment.
I buy gifts that range from toys and video games to expensive electronics and designer labels.
I must never mention that I once was 15 and I could never understand.
I must not schedule anything without checking in first.
I pay for Driver's Training.
I must only cheer internally at soccer games.
I can not play my music when I shuttle friends.
I can not straighten a tie.
I can not suggest that hair be trimmed or even brushed.
I can not give advice of any kind.
I must not expect simple and long standing expectations.
I pay for SATs and ACTs.
I must never discuss religion or Boy Scouts in public.
I can not compliment or brag about my children in public.
I must compliment and brag about my children all the time.
I must be kind to all friends and drive them anywhere requested.
I apologize to the neighbors for the loud music.
I must endure teenage girls...and the drama they cause.
I must not comment about personal things, even if they have been posted on facebook.
I will visit the Emergency Room no less than two times per quarter.
I must double my grocery bill.
I will wait up late and get up early.
I may be heart-sick and beaming with pride all in the same day.

Failure to comply means I MAY be subjected to:
Eye rolling, humphing, stomping, snorting, door slamming, pouting, tirades and even occasional bad mouthing.

But best of all, having a 15 year old means...I only have three years left!!! Yahoo!!
(Of course, I don't really mean the 'yahoo' part...very much!)