Dear Stomach Flu

Dear Stomach Flu,

I am not sure if anyone has let you know but you are not a welcome visitor. The scheduled visitors this week are my Grandma Stones and my Aunt Melanie and I find it very rude that you just barge in, uninvited and unannounced.

Jasen was mortified that you showed up to meet him at school. Your gifts of vomiting and diarrhea should never have to be opened in public setting like school. He is grateful that you didn't hang out with him for long however.

Spencer on the other hand has had plenty of time with you and frankly, he has had enough. He is hungry and needs a nap. On top of it all, he is missing his Mother's Day party to hang out at home with you. You should be more considerate of people's schedules.

Emma didn't appreciate opening your first present at soccer practice in front of her team and I didn't enjoy cleaning up her second present late last night. I am not sure if you are aware but vomit covered blow dryers and curling irons are not desirable. Also, we try to avoid stains on the carpets here.

Michael and I are happy to have you leave without having received any of your gifts, and I am sure that Grandma and Melanie don't have room in their luggage to take you home to their place so please, go away and don't feel any obligation to return...EVER!!

Respectfully,
Andrea